


Penchant

by DanzaNelFuoco



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Not A Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:20:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanzaNelFuoco/pseuds/DanzaNelFuoco
Summary: Intimacy is a two-way street.If Light thinks he can gather more information or some kind of leverage, L can do the same.It’s for the case,he tries to convince himself, as he kisses him back.Just for the case.
Relationships: L/Kira (Death Note), L/Yagami Light
Comments: 4
Kudos: 100
Collections: COWT - Clash Of the Writing Titans/Chronicles Of Words and Trials





	Penchant

**Author's Note:**

> COW-T #10 - week 6, mission 3  
> Prompt: Love/hate - fanfiction - NSFW

_“Do you love me?” Light would ask._

_“No.” L would reply, “And neither do you.”_

Light lips are wet and hot, his mouth tastes of mint toothpaste.

Ryuzaki could dodge, could kick him back and scold him, ask him what he thinks he’s doing, but he doesn’t.

L has a penchant for being in fucked up situations.

Light slides his tongue past his lips, over his teeth, curling it against his palate and L should really kick him away now. But he doesn’t.

Instead, L lets Light’s arm hug him, his hands closing around his nape - _is he gonna wring my neck?_ \- and closes his eyes.

“Why?” L asks, as soon as Light takes a step back, tilting his head, inquisitively. Is this some convoluted plan to kill him? To distract him from the investigation? To corrupt him?

“I -” Light gulps and blushes and looks away, “You had a little cream on your lips.”

It’s a lie so blatant L doesn’t even bother to point it out. 

Intimacy is a two-way street.

If Light thinks he can gather more information or some kind of leverage, L can do the same.

 _It’s for the case_ , he tries to convince himself, as he kisses him back. Just for the case.

* * *

The chain that stretches between their handcuffed wrists is not long enough and when Light falls on the bed, L gets pulled in.

L stumbles but keeps his balance, of course, because the tug at his wrist wasn’t strong enough.

Light stretches like a cat, yawning, and the rim of his white shirt just rises enough to show the skin underneath.

“You should come to bed, Ryuzaki,” the boy - _Kira_ , L has to repeat to himself, lately more than ever - pats the spot next to him with a cunning smile, “It was a tiring day after all.”

L tilts his head, considering.

This - whatever it is - is not a good idea.

L sits on the edge of the bed nonetheless and Light props up to look at him. “What?”

The detective gives him a cautious investigating look, “You are only planning on tiring me even more.”

“Maybe,” Light chuckles, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt. “I didn’t think you minded, though.”

He should mind. He does mind, even if not enough for his own good.

He’s sleeping with the main suspect of his investigation, the man that probably - with a 93% certainty - has killed thousands of people in the name of some twisted justice and that… that’s what had hooked L’s interest.

Light keeps unbuttoning his shirt, exposing his chest and the bluish bruises on his ribcage. L’s fault.

A kick in the solar plexus - matching L’s split lip during a scuffle - and a hickey, sucked by L’s mouth that same night, bleeding on his skin - the stretching of his lips around his flesh reopening the cut - as Light jerked him.

It’s fucked up.

Fucked up and fitting.

After all, L has a penchant for this kind of situation.

Light Yagami is a handsome, smart and amazing man, but L knows he wouldn’t have spared him a second thought if he didn’t think he was Kira, much less started a… _relationship_ \- liaison? affaire? whatever you wanna call it -with him.

But now… things are different, slightly off.

Light doesn’t _feel_ like Kira anymore, and L wonders if it’s real or if it’s what he wants to think. If he’s compromised, the entire investigation is done, for good. Maybe that was Kira’s plan all along, maybe L is just paranoid.

Maybe Light is innocent.

L doesn’t know what to think anymore, and that has never happened to him. His mind has always been the fundamental constant in his life, the only think he could count on. And Light was screwing him up.

That’s why L needs to keep some distance, to clear his mind, but it’s hard to get clean from the person you’re handcuffed with, 24/7.

Especially when said person is trying so hard to get you to fuck him - or the other way around, L has discovered Light is quite flexible on the matter - despite L’s repeated refusals.

“Ryuzaki? Maybe I should cover my self in whipped cream and strawberries to get your attention,” Light smiles, an impish glint in his eyes, as his fingers slide under L’s white shirt to trace the rim of his jeans on his skin.

L snatches his hand away, pulling at the chain and holding it in between them. “Do you know what these handcuffs mean?"

“That you want me around you all the time?” Light jokes, but L is too upset for these games. 

“You are smarter than that. Don’t play Misa.”

“I know it means you don’t trust me,” Light chuckles and he shouldn’t - it’s not the reaction L wanted.

“I know it means you still think I am Kira,” Light practically climbs in his lap, and no, no, L doesn’t even pretend to know what’s going on now. Light shouldn’t be flirting with him.

“I know it turns you on,” Light whispers in his ear. 

L stiffens, hands gripping his hips so hard Light would have other bruises tomorrow.

“You could call me ‘Kira’ tonight, see if I like your _justice_ ,” Light’s hand slides between their legs, pressing on his groin.

What’s gotten into him tonight? L wonders. He grips his wrists in his hands and pulls him off.

“Do you really want me to?” He asks and he fears the answer.

Would it stroke his ego, would it be a confirmation of his guilt? Does Light get off in screwing L as much as L gets off in screwing Kira? 

What does it mean?

“No, not really,” Light holds his gaze, suddenly serious, and seems honest enough. If nothing else, he’s not flirting anymore he has dropped the act, “But you already do it in your mind, don’t you?”

He can see it in his eyes at every pound, every push, every thrust. L never moans his name, but if he did, it would be ‘Kira’ the one escaping his mouth.

Light looks away “It hurts less if I pretend to have any choice in that.”

L would like to hid his face in the crook of his neck and whisper his name, swearing he thinks of him as Light.

L would like to take off their handcuffs and make love to him, forgetting they are enemies, forgetting they are trying to kill each other.

L would like to do a lot of things.

He’s only human, he knows he will give in to Light, sooner or later - and give in he does, yielding his whole body and soul, again and again, till losing count - but for now, he just lets go of his wrists and hugs him, awkward as only L can be, pulling him down on the bed until they’re both lying there.

“What are you doing?” Light asks when L’s grip wouldn’t allow him to move.

“Goodnight, Light.”

The implicit ‘go to sleep’ hangs silent between them.

Light opens his mouth as if willing to protest.

“Goodnight, Ryuzaki.”

* * *

L shivers and Light covers his mouth with his own, dampening his moans.

His fingers slide out of him and L can feel the emptiness, echoing the one in his chest, the one harboring since they find out about shinigami and the Death Note.

He was right.

He wasn’t compromised then, he’s not compromised now.

He doesn’t know what happened exactly, what changed, since that moment, but he can feel it again.

Light Yagami _is_ Kira.

It should be good news, he’s still himself. Surprisingly - it hurts.

Light Yagami has made him human - _vulnerable_ \- and then he has abandoned him. Story of his life, if L should be honest.

Light pushes inside him and L braces himself for the pain - but pain he doesn’t get. Even now, even as Kira, Light retains a little part of himself, enough to be gentle, enough to be considerate.

Maybe it’s all just an act, but L wants to let it play out and pretend it’s the truth.

So L grips his shoulder, bringing him closer, as Light sinks into him.

The student stills, giving him time to adjust to the sensations but L thrust his hips into him, hastily. He needs more, he needs it hurt, to leave the sign.

“Light,” he lets out and sees surprise in the other’s eye - surprise and a calculating glint, trying to understand what to make out of this, to decide if it’s a weakness or a trap.

“Ryuzaki,” Light breathes against his lips, starting to pound into him, and for a second, L doesn’t perceive Kira in the room.

For just those blessed minutes, there’s only Light.

* * *

There’s no longer a chain on their wrists and Light could go on with his life - should go on with his life, because surely this isn’t helping either of them to get leverage on the adversary and it’s pretty much useless as a strategy. Instead, he just keeps coming to L’s chamber every night and L lets him in.

Sometimes L tires of wondering what is wrong with them.

_“Do you love me?” Light would ask._

_“No,” L would lie, “And neither do you.”_

_Not enough, anyway._


End file.
